I also suffer from low self esteem, a constant feeling of awkwardness between myself and anyone, I always feel self-conscious and am extremely fidgety. and I could not remain married. But, it’s going to take time. It must look really weird but for me it just feel normal and actually I feel much better afterwards. Everyone’s post say they remember at a very young age, but me? Men can be more intimidating in a dog's eyes. PS: If you’re reading this and have experienced something similar, my prayers are with you . Like with many other phobias, the fear of men phobia might continue into adulthood. It’s a compliment, accept it for what it is! I’m 17, this isn’t normal. They thought they were loving you but they were loving the old you, but your family, even if they might react in an upset way, that will only be because it makes them shocked and grieved that they are not as close to you as they want to be and when they recover from the shock they will do their best to be close to and love the new you and you will find your heart suddenly full of the love you tried so desperately to keep by hiding yourself. Whatever the feeling I haven’t been genuinely happy in over 3 years and this ‘Androphobia’ that I don’t want to self diagnose myself with, but this supposed fear of men, is effecting how I see myself and others and I just want it to STOP. Just remind yourself, not all are the same.. My parents had an arranged marriage, and my father is very controlling and emotionally abusive. I know it’s not true. They assume that you are some killer and rapist without any information. The worse is that they say that they are against discrimination, but promote discrimination and hate, not just against males, they also discriminate the feminist women who are focused in the equity of rights, and other authentic concerns about the labor conditions, etc. My whoole life has been a mess, an ED since 5, selfharm since 5 years old, and apparently androphobia. I don’t mind being with a big group where there are a lot of people (women and men) but when i am walking down a street and i see some men around ages 40-50+ staring at me i imagine how they want to rape me and do bad things to me immediately. All you are doing is justifying our paranoia- our belief that men are horrible. I was forced to go to a military school when I was in high school. We went to the movies and he would want to kiss me, but I had never kissed anyone in my life. And as a man… it is quite damaging to my self-esteem. I am 38 years old. I’m older now, and still, I can’t be around men. This doesn’t happen with boys i know who are generally good moral people only boys who have done bad things and i can’t help it and i know they probably wouldn’t ever do those things? Fear of Men are a Brighton-based band. But I hope you remind women that you yourself are an approachable person and that it was never intended for women to be afraid of you. He was kept from my life for about 11 years so that’s why I’m afraid of him. They would say things to make me feel bad about myself, it was mentally a living hell. There are several reasons that may cause androphobia or fear of men. I am mildly but pervasively androphobic. Later on I joined a sports team that he was on, but he quit and he was the only boy. Experience does colour perception. You shall not fear man, for the judgment is God’s. When I broke up with him, I cried for hours. Would the sky fall? I’m currently 19 years old and this fear has plagued me as far as I can remember. I felt like I was going to be sick in both of these situations. Fear of Men are a Brighton-based band. I’m not afraid to be alone guys at or around my own age, I can even be in the same room alone with a guy my own age and that doesn’t scare me. Any time I see a guy I get scared all the time. Common symptoms that can occur with people having Androphobia are: One will have to encounter a man at any point of a day. I live with my grandparents and mom and see my dad every other weekend but I still cant see myself to trust him. Fear because of a previous experience is understood. My family makes jokes about it, but when I was seven, my grandpa said he’d like to take me out to dinner sometime and I told him I didn’t want to because I didn’t want people to think we were on a date. This fear has led me to go to an all-girls university, which I hate. were you abused prior to learning martial arts? Neither of the sexes should suffer, should they? That’s fascinating Sarah. Fear of men is termed "androphobia," a word derived from the Greek "andros" (man) and "phobos" (fear). The fear can be so intense that one might choose to remain single and unmarried for the whole life. I have anxiety/fear over all sorts of things: public speaking (in front of any gender), going to the cash register, meeting new people(especially men), etc. She has anxiety when socialising with men (in a way, she always thinks that they’re going to harm her which then actives her defence mode and changes her behaviour speaking harsh). As I look at your post, I first thought likely you were abused as a child. Every time i was near one i would start shaking and sweating and try to find a place to hide. CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is known to be very effective. I used to watch a drama based on a true story. Once or twice perhaps someone gave a thought to whether their kids were safe. I have no desire to be female. However, if men get aggressive or dishonest with me, I quickly dislike and fear them, too. But this has not helped. I both hated masculine parts of me and hate that I am not masculine enough to attract women. Together we cried in that guidance office, and waited while the counselor made the necessary calls. One boy didn’t like that I kept rejecting him. All i can do is hear that repeating voice in the back of my mind that something has happened. My whole life has been crying and hiding from men, dreading school, social events, anything because I didn’t even know what was going on with me. Even though i have this fear i know i am not lesbian (but my fear usually happens with older boys and males – that’s also why i hate alcohol and never have even a drop of it because i am scared of men when they drink it – even when they are like 20). There were some comments about lesbians. I avoid talking to men, try not to make eye contact with them, will walk in a different direction to where I am going to avoid them, and will ignore them if they try to talk to me. This being said, I also suffer from social anxiety which has hindered me from getting a job (although I have tried but didn’t last for very long). I hate some aspects of my masculinity. Worst summer of my life so far, and that summer was around the time I had little to no friends. So what if you did become a “slut”? My best friend who is the most amazing person and my shoulder to cry on, GUESS WHAT? When I met with a therapist about having social anxiety and depression I didn’t realise at the time I might be affected by this fear, so I didn’t mention it and my mum has a tendency to dismiss things she hasn’t heard of. It showed in varying degrees. I will never be invited to girly things and as such, I feel I will never be as deep friends as many of my friends are with each other. I have a similar kind of problem but I am overcoming it by my own. The abuse continued for 6 months, and then, his fiancee came back. From that time on i never believed men. This might be causing fear of men to develop in some eventually. I have been told on multiple occasions that people like me for my looks, but I don’t want to go through that again with anyone. The thing is that I discovered that my brothers touches himself at night and we kinda share bed and now it’s impossible for me to share room with a guy. I NEED HELP FROM SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS. It all makes sense now, somehow. I fear it’s going to happen all over again. Only one and we kept missing each other due to holidays. It’s hard because I love to talk to people and meet new people when I’m not in an anxiety mode. The only time they invited me drinking was to an event they had organised with not many people, so I didn’t meet anyone new. She told my father but he loved his brothers blindly and accused my mom but my mom whom I love dearly insisted but nothing changed and he kept on living with us but my mom tied a rope on my hands one that connected me with her it made me feel safe. However, most properly, the fear of man is, as Bunyan put it, “the fear of losing man’s favor, love, goodwill, help, and friendship.” Simply put, it is “an idol of approval.” I've finally come to the conclusion that I am afraid of men. I’m just overcoming it like that. The audience watch fixatedly as the carefree melodies carry them away into a serene atmosphere. Yes, I remember something, and that thing was when I was 7 y/o. I saw a therapist when I was thirteen who told my mother she thought I was a lesbian because of it. I never used to have this fear until my brother started making gross comments about my body. Don’t let anyone define you or re-define you. No idea how old this post is. It’s been 7 years and I’ve become better now. It’s so painful to not even be able to remember who, or exactly when, or how. Warnings like “stay away from strange men, or do not drive in a car with a man” etc can all lead to ‘reprogramming’ of the brain. I possess nothing I'm free from fear I'm a monument to myself I see you drowning Half flesh half stone That destruction of language is perverse, seeks to obstacle communication and reasoning. I’m only scared of cute men, when I was little I was assaulted by two boys. God bless! Reach out to people who love you.) These can be physical and verbal abuse, rape and molestations. I see some of them go on a girls’ day… And I am jealous. The Church also reinforced this. As a former pastor of 24 years, I hate to see so many who are afraid of men. How do I change this? Sometimes the cause is … If a female is androphobic, she might have men as friends but feel completely uncomfortable around them. I was so horrified and that scene almost kept replaying in my mind for the next few days and then my mind almost wiped that part and ended up just remembering parts that I’m able to gather and obviously share this story. 7) Confinement into homes. Men are known as the aggressive, physically stronger and tough beings. No it’s not how can you tell these women that! Not because I missed him, but because I felt like I would never find anyone that would love me for who I was and not just for my body or to do the things they wanted with me. Genetics and heredity have also been related with Androphobia. What I feel is change your way of looking at the situations. Wow. So I didn’t dare to tell him since my family relations are all broken down. Androphobia is signified by unreasonable, constant and exaggerated fear of men, and perceiving them as dangerous. Fear of Men. Now, I am furthering to a higher level education. You are braver than I. I do like men as long as they don’t touch me (unless we are dating/married) or try to intimidate me. It would make me feel disgusted. In almost all the societies and cultures, men are the dominant group. Now i am trying to escape and i usually watch some anime and then fantasize about anime boys. I’m glad I got that off my chest a little more. This is not as traumatizing as the other stories but as I was growing up I was always a very scared and sensitive kid so this scared me for life and now I have androphobia and I just found out now. I’m 24 now. An androphobic person tries to avoid men and their company as much as possible. This is hard to type so I’ll stop, sorry. In fact they all left. So just for context I am a guy, and would consider myself a supporter of feminism, but it isn't one of the political issues I am really passionate about so I think about it or discuss it relatively little compared to other political topics and thus don't have as ingrained views. This is my third comment in a row to someone to say seek counselling and therapy. Didn’t stop there my mom married a child molester who molested me my brother and raped my sister. I did have a nightmare I still remember it involved a boy that was in my class in my dream he was evil I can’t really explain but I knew it was a nightmare. I am scared of mostly older men. I did trust my uncle and a grandfather, but they are dead now. Protect its dreams. Their debut album Loom was released on April 21st/22nd 2014 in UK and US on Kanine Records. A compilation of various cassette and 7" releases called Early Fragments was released in early 2013 while the band prepared to record its proper debut album. This fear is taking over my life and all I want is to have a normal relationship with my dad and brother because I love them both but this fear keeps nagging at me. Unless you want to become a nun, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of flirting. I’m pretty sure I know what caused it…. In this case, I keep my distance. I don’t feel comfortable around my own father, I fear that even he could have predatorily sexual thoughts toward me and it freaked me out. Androphobia can extensively affect one’s life, especially personal relationships, work and family. View credits, reviews, tracks and shop for the 2014 Clear Vinyl release of Loom on Discogs. The fear of man is not simply the fear of the harm that men may do to us. I’m fearful of men. I think I have more anxiety than androphobia though. People even say my personality is innocent, bubbly and flirtateous without even trying (what does that even mean?) I hear stories from my classmates how some men approaches them and touch them. I think my friend is starting to notice though because he asks me if im ok when I look nervous around him, of course I say im fine but apart of me wants to run out the door, I guess I hold my ground because I just don’t want to seem like a pansy (even tho i am) around him. My father abused me. I am scared that the men that I meet all hurt me as he did. As the person gets habituated with the sessions, he/she also develops tolerance and coping strength against the fear of men. When I was around the age of five, my foster dad decided to rape me one night, and having never been taught about right and wrong sexual things, even later in life, I had no idea it was wrong. I’m 13 and my name is Emily too. I asked her to divorce him but because of my young siblings she refuses. Whilst being bullied, I never had an issue with liking a boy. Mostly because I trusted him from the moment we met, which is very strange for me. He was also a man who was physical: he played rough with me and my cousins: playfully shoving me, tickling me, and wrestling with me. I ran back to my mom like nothing happened and she was like, here eat this donut. Thank you for taking the time to read this. My mother was a narcissist sociopath and her mother was scary also. Sadly, it has gotten a lot worse and I have to share room with men where I live and now I can’t sleep unless I know there’s not a man around and that no man will be around me while I sleep. I only walk backwards out of rooms now and I have extreme paranoia that my dad or brother are looking at my butt, so much that I physically can’t face backwards to them. No idea how old this post is. I was raised in a very christian family, with no swearing, no mention of sex, wait to give yourself up until marriage, etc. I have been in counseling many years and have been on many meds. My parents don’t believe me though. Marketplace 156 For Sale. I am not. A close relative did this to me but thank Karma, cancer got him and the abuse ended. Partially due to my parents/grandparents instilling a fear of strange men (not to trust them at all in fear of getting raped) and partially because I want to fit in (with peers) and not lose a potential partner. My name is Cyn, I have this friend of mine who is going through this phobia and she only recently told me about it today. I do not fit in. No, that would be insane, and deeply sexist. I was a nervous wreck. Narcissists are in both genders. I’ve tried explaining my problems to anyone I fully trust, including my counselor, but they just don’t understand. For all the women/girls who fear men, keep in mind that there are men also who have been abused by women/other men, as young boys. And most of them are gorgeous or otherwise extremely attractive. As with most phobias, Androphobia has different origins. So, when I was 9, he was happy to illegally take full custody of me, and by the age of 12 1/2 he began, suddenly, severely abusing me physically. However, we are very very involved with fraternities…and I’m shaking and sweating as I type just thinking about socializing with them. Until You 6. I had friends who had older brothers that were nice to me but to me mentally, it didn’t count because it was like relative. You will often find that when you let family know who you are deep inside the gulf that may seem to make between you was already there, they just see it now. My stepdad molested me from the time I was 4 till I was 16. Maybe this is a closer reason why I am as well “a romantic” person. And find a loving church, that only preaches from the Bible.) Could you tell the story of the stalkers you beat up last winter? I know he probably just loves me because I am his daughter but I can’t get over the fear that he sees me sexually. It started when I was 7 yrs old sexually abused on my communion by my friends uncle. Weirdly enough I don’t have some really bad experience but even those minor occasions caused me this fear. When Im home I start to act being raped. I sometimes get an unreasonable fear of men - I get very scared of and extremely cautious about most men. The same year I started thinking boys would only like me if I had sex with them. I almost couldn’t breathe and felt those stares on my back. I am ashamed to have these prejudices. I often have dreams that I am being raped by men. Would people start pointing at you wherever you went? Hi, I’ve been suffering a fear of men since I was 16. I am blessed to have the most amazing and protective boyfriend now. or maybe has any advice for how I could deal with it? Feminist movement is a positive way to show your power as a women not to hate or fear men… these women need help, and you are telling them it’s a good thing to live in fear. For example i was with my two girlfriends and we were buying food. It isn’t just “not liking your gender” or anything like with extremists. As well as having little in common interest-wise with many men. Once again she thinks back to him hurting her) although she wish to have children in the future tho (yay!). Required fields are marked *. I’m not really sure what triggered it. I did not feel this way before and I don’t know what to do about it. Androphobia is signified by unreasonable, constant and exaggerated fear of men, and perceiving them as dangerous. My fear and the lack of living with this phobia of men I have become agoraphobic now as well. Hmmmm i see two things in this situtuation. Androphobia is the reason for my depression. I believe that talking to a good female therapist would help you cope with the aftermath. I trust no man. Fear of Men teamed up with director Eleanor Hardwick to create a video for "Descent" from their debut album 'Loom' out now on Kanine Records. I can’t feel comfortable around my own father or older brother! In serious cases of panicking, medications may also be used. While I am grateful as this fear has kept me safe from a wide number of men (since I keep company with so few of them..), I do hope to be able to trust one man fully in the future as a spouse. Such type of abnormal and intense dread of men is known as Androphobia. Most stutter or stammer when talking to men. I’m not sure why I’m like this but I hate this feeling. I sort of crave it, but when it is like boys I don’t trust it is just so uncomfortable. So he just sat there and asked “so are you going out anywhere with your friends today” which would just seem like a question that any family member would ask but he started asking it a lot ever since we accidentally crossed paths and I was embarrassed because I was with my friends and he was almost acting hyper, which definitely made me uncomfortable. I hate men, a sense of dislike and a disgust whenever they are around. Fear of men? I am someone who has been raped nearly my entire childhood (and sold as a child sex slave) and has this phobia. I remember men saying I had a big butt for a child. We can’t help it and it’s not our fault that we have this fear. Most people (especially women) I don’t think realize rape is supposedly more of a crime of violence than of sexuality. Find a Christian counselor who will respect your true identity and help you walk through the pain. Through the sessions, the therapist also teaches different ways to tolerate the fear, and retain normal behavior. Various factors that contribute in development of Androphobia in people are: Various traumatic experiences can be directly associated with Androphobia in people. Androphobia has been derived from Greek word “Andras” meaning man. However, one of the most striking and surprising is androphobia, the fear of men. Zombie and occult fascination isn’t normal either. The phobia may also be triggered by witnessing or hearing about a significant other getting hurt by men. One woman I was involved with criticized it, when I was turned on easily by something. One of my male coaches would come up to me exiting or entering a bathroom to congratulate me on my races. Eg: you can know about The Great Padmavati. I think it developed from my dad. You must, first of all, discipline yourself to adjust to your fear. Fear of Men - Into Strangeness (Official Video) Fear of Men's first song in 4 years. I wish they werent in this world theyre disgusting . I don’t flirt with men, apparently they just like the innocent in me (which I fake). My father was extremely physically abusive when I was just a toddler. I just realized tonight how far-reaching this fear is. After being told, “everyone knows you’re not a virgin”, I practically yelled at them, “yes because it was rape.” I stormed to the guidance office, sobbing. Did she perhaps start out with hating men first? Unfortunately, years of suspicion and mistrust is not easy to just magically get rid of overnight. Advice would be for her to be around guys is to have girls there as well. Androphobia is derived from the Greek word 'Andro' meaning 'men' or 'male' and 'phobos', meaning dread or fear. A Memory 5. The fear of men can be traced to really distressful encounters with men previously. I found out that it was because I was afraid of Physical touch by men. My mind went from “which ice cream should i pick” to “he’s going to rape me and shoot to kill me”. And beyond that? 5. (She’s only attracted to men but the fear exists) please feel free to give us ideas of how you worked on yourself. I hate myself, also for having a very high libido. I want develop my career. Exercise your trust in God by stepping out in obedience. Such an adjustment must be done gradually; it is called as gradual desensitization or graded exposure therapy. Dont ever stop fearing them. There are various support groups if not within counseling centers then churches which deal with all sorts of situations. He and my mom got into very bad arguments that would have my dad blue in the face and throat soar from yelling. And do not trust anyone. So, my mother divorced him. But it seems like that you are fearful of your own actions regarding sex and in that case, have you ever heard of hypersexuality? De debuutplaat van zweefpopkwartet Fear of Men lijkt na een eerste luisterbeurt niet bijster interessant. “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29). All of my friends have started dating guys and I can’t even talk to them without getting nervous or afraid. I am a male who was sexually assaulted when I was 6. but they call them geronto-feminists. Brighton, U.K. band Fear of Men began in early 2011 as an extension of work Jessica Weiss was making for her art degree. So my usual experience interacting with people would differ if I interpret them as a girl or a boy Thank you to anyone if you read through all of this. I think my grandpa was overcome with grief for my grandma, and didn’t know what to do to stifle that grief. I’m still trying to trust him after seeing him for only 2 years. At the age of 13 I was taken advantage of to say the very least. The band released their debut album Loom on April 2014 through Kanine Records. For some, I may seem to show too much attention, but it is a natural consequence of who I am. All the men in my family are shit some are cheating while some are physically abusing there wife. I grew up and kicked him out of our lives and mum remarried happily to another man and he has been a wonderful father. I felt ashamed. While some of them were absolute assholes, other were amazing people. Interaction with a boy I haven’t met before: I’m shy, we attempt small talk, nothing goes from there. My heart would race, I could never look him in the eyes. Sometimes I actually do jolt back, and have to play it off as a joke. a friendly smile and clear voice is better for her to be calm. Probably because they are so cocky, loud and it just makes me feel scared. Like my dad. Now that I am no longer a pastor, I still talk with kids and youth, and sometimes I am tickled and smile at something. However, since I left my abusive home about 4 almost 5 months ago it scares me to death to be around Dads, I started staying with my boss last week to whom I Nannied for two years for, literally the kindest person in the universe she has a husband and I feel completely safe and comfortable around him. This world is hard for us to exist in too. Would that mean that you become a woman who enjoys sex? Shop for Vinyl, CDs and more from Fear Of Men at the Discogs Marketplace. Don’t buy into the bull. Also it’s thought that only men molest children and think it is rare for a woman to do this. It may seem decorative or seem hip, but it may open a window to nightmares of that sort. There is not a woman in my family that I can recall that doesn’t have a trauma inflicted on them by a man. I also hate that I am not manly enough for the occasional object of my affection to be attracted back. Fear of Men Lyrics: I am so distracted / From the path I could be on / One with hearts wide open / No fear of a scary man behind the door / Cause I still have pain / I’m stuck in old ways / The ways I wouldn’t let him touch me, so he started repeating what my boyfriend at the time was telling the school. One time i was in an empty train and some man was sitting on a seat and as i was passing by him he went like “come here little girl, you can sit next to me”. The conversation might evolve and develop and result in other conversations with different people. My heart goes out to you, and I will certainly pray for you. I am attracted to men (at least i had fantasies about then). I do tend to overreact when I read something that describes me so specifically. Take a step towards reducing your suffering and seek out counselors and get yourself on the path to emotional wellness. I can hide the fear when in public, but whenever I’m alone with a guy, I start to have a panic attack. 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